PenPen's Pent up Predicament
by Ps3udonym
Summary: Pen-Pen and Shinji learn that love is a Craigslist click away. A/S


Asuka glared at me, red-faced and with her eye twitching, as she realized what had fallen in her lap. Misato just stood near the doorway with a bemused expression on her face. Pen-Pen let out a large panicked "WAARRK!" and waddled back to his fridge.

I blinked twice in genuine surprise, and took a look at the cover of the magazine.

PENGUINS GONE WILD! Underneath, subtitles were printed out, such as THESE NAUGHTY BIRDS WILL DO ANYTHING! and MISS AUGUST BARES ALL!

A female penguin stood proudly on the cover; flippers raised high, taking what appeared to be an attempt at a seductive pose (to penguins maybe).

"PERVERT SHIIINNNJJJIII!!"

**Pen-Pen's Pent-up Predicament (Or, Shinji Discovers Craigslist)**

**An Evangelion fan-fiction.**

**Evangelion is the property of studio Gainax.**

**Series created by Hideaki Anno with character designs by Yoshiyuki Sadamoto.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion; all characters and designs have been used without permission.**

**Spoiler warning: This story assumes the reader has seen at least up to episode 15 of Evangelion. Elements of the Evangelion game Girlfriend of Steel is appreciated as well, but not required.**

I hadn't bothered to stammer out that it wasn't mine – even though it had fallen out of my schoolbag when Asuka had knocked it off the table. It had probably gotten mixed up in my homework somehow... I didn't want to know how.

Asuka sat at the table in an oversized t-shirt and shorts, glass of water in one hand, head resting on her other. Misato sat to her left, barely holding back giggles while hiding behind her fifth can of Yebisu. It fell on me to talk to Pen-Pen (whom we had coaxed out of the fridge) about his choice of reading material.

"So…" I began.

"Wark?" Pen-Pen gawked at me with a quizzical look, magazine held by one of his retractable claws.

"That's yours huh?"

The penguin just nodded, looking down at his feet like a child receiving a stern lecture. A faint blush could be seen on his cheeks.

"Just exactly how many magazines do you have in there?" I asked.

Pen-pen continued to look down, not meeting my gaze. I guess he had quite the collection.

"Soooo…" I repeated, deliberately drawing it out. What was I supposed to say at a time like this?

"It's not your fault," Misato chimed in, "we all have urges!"

"Yeah, you would know," Asuka sniped. She had been quite testy ever since Kaji and Misato rekindled their romance in a very open manner. For her part, our guardian gave her a scathing look, but said nothing.

I ignored the two, keeping the conversation on Pen-Pen. "So, you're just lonely?"

He emitted a subdued warble in response, still looking down.

"Maybe he just needs a romp in the sack," Misato suggested.

My face turned a dark shade of red. Hairline fractures appeared on the glass of water in Asuka's hand as her grip tightened. Pen-pen was suspiciously still.

"Just kidding!" Misato laughed at our expressions, "Don't worry, we'll find a girlfriend for you!" She raised her thumbs up, mouth curved upwards in one of her distinctively goofy grins.

"WAAUGH!!" Pen-Pen looked up and clapped his flippers together with joy.

"Just one rule," Misato declared, face suddenly stern.

"Wark?"

"No sex in the house, alright? Or..." Her hand made a threatening snip-snip gesture for added effect. Both us males cringed and reached down instinctively for protection.

"How hypocritical of you; we heard the noises from your room last night," Asuka muttered.

* * *

Now it was only the three of us at the kitchen table. Pen-Pen had retired to his fridge with the magazine… making us all shudder.

"So if Pen-Pen gets a girlfriend, will we keep her too?" I asked Misato.

"I don't know," she said, words gurgled a bit as she emptied her sixth beer of the night. Even for her, downing six beers was a bit much. I guess the stress of being a parental figure to two adolescents and a sexually repressed penguin was getting to her.

"Haven't thought this through, have you?" Asuka smirked.

"Shut up!" Misato snapped, popping the top on yet another can.

"Any ideas on how to get Pen-Pen a date?" I wondered out loud. The only members of the opposite sex I regularly talked to were part of NERV.

"Well, let's just hope he's not as bad with girls as you are," Asuka teased.

"I'm not bad with girls!" I started to defend myself, perhaps hopelessly.

"Of course you are, idiot!" Asuka shouted. "The only time you even got CLOSE to a girl is when that slut Mana threw herself at you!"

"Mana was _not_ a slut!" Asuka had never liked the red-haired girl who was, however briefly, my girlfriend. Even when Mana turned out to be a Japanese spy in danger, Asuka had been so cavalier towards her.

"You're so stupid you wouldn't know if a girl liked you even if she came out and asked you for a kiss!"

"What kind of girl just comes out and asks a guy for a kiss in the first place?" I shot back. "No girl's _that_ desperate!"

"Hey, I resent that!" Asuka yelled.

Both of us quickly shut up as she said this, remembering our awkward kiss. I had forgotten how it had started. Asuka wouldn't meet my gaze – I guess I really had been that bad at kissing. Misato just stared blankly in a somewhat drunken haze, half-listening to us as we bickered – she had long since tuned us out. We both breathed a small sigh of relief, and Asuka shot me a dirty look.

"We could try the classifieds, maybe?" I suggested, filling up the awkward silence. I really didn't know where to begin to search for a female penguin.

"Are you an idiot? Penguins don't advertise on classifieds!" Asuka retorted, increasing incredulousness in her voice.

"That's it!" Misato broke from her reverie in a sudden.

"What's it?" Asuka and I spoke at the same time, evoking memories of our synch training.

"CRAIGSLIST!" Misato shouted triumphantly.

* * *

I nervously clicked on the "Tokyo-3" link at the main and Misato hovered on either side of me, leaning in close to take a look at the screen.

"Let's browse through the personals," Misato suggested.

Most of the ads obviously weren't designed for penguins. For example, "Dependable, career-oriented, bespectacled NERV technician looking for his gorgeous raven-haired, well-endowed femme fatale" probably wouldn't have appreciated Pen-Pen replying to his ad. For that matter, I don't think "Brilliant blonde doctor searching for Casanova to cure her icy heart" would've either.

"You know what," Asuka suggested as she quickly scanned each headline. "While we're here, we might as well find you someone too, third child. Lord knows you could use the help."

She shoved me aside before I could protest, eyes flashing dangerously as she zeroed in on a target. She found an ad and clicked on it, reading aloud.

"I am a Tokyo-3 adolescent male with an interest in giant robots and battleships. Interests also include artillery and cool bombers, not to mention tanks and fighters. Any military equipment, really. Also, I enjoy anime, video games, and camping trips. I'm looking for someone who shares my interests, and who can be the escorting frigate to my proud aircraft carrier. You send your picture, and I'll send mine."

I glared at my fellow pilot. The redhead just burst out cackling and started rolling around on the floor. Misato grinned, a dangerous glint in her eyes.

"You know, you might be onto something there, Asuka."

Asuka and I looked at her like she had grown an extra arm on her forehead.

"We should send Shinji on a date, too. It'd be good for your confidence!" She beamed. "And you really should start dating again. You were so happy the last time!"

I opened my mouth to protest, but Misato interrupted me before I could get a word out.

"No arguments about this. That's a direct order, as your operations manager. Your happiness is essential to the Evangelion project," Misato pointed at me and gave me a very stern look, albeit with her lips somewhat curving upwards in a faint smile.

"Alright, fine," I acquiesced. There wasn't much I could do if it was an official order.

Asuka now looked at both of us as if we had grown extra arms on our foreheads.

* * *

And that's how come six o'clock Thursday night, Pen-Pen and I were to be dressed and ready to go for our respective dates. Misato had obviously been planning this out for a while now. She immediately called one of her old college friends and set me up with her niece, who had apparently been dying to meet the famous pilot of Evangelion Unit-01. Pen-Pen found himself a date too. Or rather, a series of dates, the first of which was at the local zoo – they had been looking for a mate for one of their cold water penguins. Strangely enough, they would be going to a bar. I imagined it had been Misato's suggestion.

According to Misato, my date was a nice girl my age by the name of Nami who lived on the other side of Tokyo-3. Nami's picture was of a fairly cute, if somewhat plain black-haired teen with medium-length hair to just below her shoulders. She was leaning against a railing in the photo, sunset in the background. All in all, she seemed like a fairly normal person, fascination with giant robots aside. I was wary of someone who liked me for my pilot status, but between her and Misato's alternative of combing through Craigslist again, I chose what I assumed was the safer option.

Of course, Asuka had happened to let it slip (in an extremely loud voice) during school that "the idiot would be a date tonight", so Toji and Kensuke spent the better part of the day "preparing" me. At least, that's what they called it. I called it sheer torture.

Our sensei had gone home with a fever, so we were given instructions to study quietly in the classroom. It was a testament to the fact we had Hikari Horaki for a class rep that all of us stayed for the afternoon. Even so, there was only so much she could do to keep us in line – the room buzzed with conversation, textbooks forgotten on desks and in bags. Occasionally, gunshots and exaggerated announcer voices rang out from the computers, as an impromptu gaming session broke out.

"A date?" Toji practically announced to the class (if they hadn't heard Asuka before, they knew now), excitedly giving me on giant thump on my back as he looked at the picture of Nami. "You dog! First Mana, now this girl? Finally cashing in on your status as a pilot?"

Kensuke was flashing me a thumbs up sign with a wide smile, camcorder recording. "So what you've got planned for your big romantic date?"

"Errr… I think we're going to a dinner and a movie." I tried not to look directly at the red light and the lens of the camera, and started to look around the class. A group of girls in the corner immediately turned their heads away from our direction and started giggling, earning a frown from me.

Toji, being Toji, took the conversation to a more perverted train of thought. "Man, she's pretty cute. You've got to at least get to first base – maybe she'll even let you get to second tonight!"

I nodded absent-mindedly. The class rep and Asuka were sitting just a few desks away from us, chatting. Asuka saw me and shot me a dirty look. My gaze quickly shifted to Rei, looking out the window at her desk. Today was one of her rare appearances in our classroom.

"Seriously!" Toji went down on his knees in dramatic fashion. "If one of us gets the opportunity, we go for it! That's the guy code." Kensuke joined him on the floor, their faces both in suddenly solemn expressions, heads bowed, arms clasped together in reverence to the all-encompassing guy code.

Unfortunately, this gesture had two immediate consequences: first, Asuka decided to storm out of the classroom, audibly cursing in German under her breath, probably about what perverted idiots we were. Second, Hikari, who apparently had been listening to our conversation (like always), grabbed Toji by the ear and dragged him off to reprimand him.

At the end of her tirade, Hikari made sure to glare at me too, like I was the one who had made Asuka angry enough to run out.

* * *

Misato had decided to dress me for the occasion, even going out of her way to take me shopping – she was looking forward to the actual date more than I was. Pen-pen had even put on a bow tie for the occasion, and the feathers on top of his hair looked… slicked back with gel? I hadn't bothered with any sort of product on mine. I guess I was the only one treating date night lightly.

As if to underscore how important everyone thought the night was, Toji, Kensuke, and surprisingly, Hikari had come to see us off. Asuka was still nowhere to be found, much to the class rep's dismay. Misato had laughed off her disappearance. Asuka would never run away from Evangelion like I had; the redhead would be back after she let loose some steam. There was no need for Misato to be overly concerned, especially with NERV Intelligence keeping tabs on us.

Toji and Kensuke were their familiar selves, alternating between drooling over and complimenting Misato while giving me some last minute "pointers". Hikari spent the entire time frowning at the two, although I definitely caught her giving me a few weird looks when she thought I wasn't looking. Misato laughed the visitors off too, before snapping a picture of me and Pen-Pen – Kensuke took care of the video.

Misato slipped me a bunch of 1000 and 2000 yen bills after she showed us the photo on her digital camera, because "chivalry shouldn't be dead," she winked. I suppose she took it out of the Pilots Allowance she got from NERV. Even if Misato was terrible at her own personal finances, she was pretty good at managing money for me and Asuka.

And finally, the cab we had called for appeared downstairs, and Pen-Pen, Misato (chaperoning the penguins), and I were off to see what the night had in store.

* * *

The cab ride was uneventful. The driver gave Pen-Pen a double take when we got in, but traffic was light and he dropped me off right in front of the theatre.

"It's a school night - don't be home too late!" Misato gave me a thumbs-up as they sped off to their date. Nami was nowhere in sight.

Even though I had been on dates before (well, okay, just one date with Mana), even I knew that blind dates were awkward. Waiting for one when you're the first one there? Well, that's probably one of the awkwardly awkward moments ever in the history of awkwardness. I was losing my ability to conjure up thoughts that even made sense.

My brain had gone into overdrive as I imagined more little things that could and probably would go wrong. We hadn't even decided what movie we wanted to watch, so I had no idea whether we would be late or early. Would we make it in time to get good seats? Previews? What if she wanted to buy from the concession stand?

Crap - Did she say 6:30 or 7:00? Was I supposed to wait for her outside or in? Maybe I was being stood up. I tried to casually loiter as much as I could on the sidewalk.

Oh God, I thought, I was being stood up. I'd have to go back to the apartment and wait for my roommates to come back, when I would tell them what had happened. Asuka would laugh, Misato would be her usual encouraging self, and Pen-Pen… well, he had his own date to worry about. Toji and Kensuke would feel sorry for me in the morning too, while lamenting the latest squandered chance with the fairer sex. They would also put an emphasis on the word "sex", probably. At which point Hikari would drag Toji away by the ear and they'd start arguing like a married couple.

Things had never been this complicated when I was dating Mana. She had always been the one who dragged me everywhere… I was in the middle of wondering where she was when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I almost jumped as I turned around to find an absolutely stunning girl smiling - SMILING at me. Nami was in a dark blue spaghetti-strap dress, filled out in all the right places; not too formal for the occasion, but nothing too revealing either. All thoughts of Mana were erased as I realized that this gorgeous girl was my date for the night.

"Shinji?" Her voice was sweet – she seemed genuinely happy to see me.

I nodded, trying to close my mouth.

"Sorry I'm late, I had to put on my make-up and I had a fashion crisis… well, you know how girls are," she giggled.

I barely managed to stammer a reply as she led me through the doors.

* * *

Movies, I quickly learned, were not the best choice for a first date as I had thought they were. In comedies and romances on TV, this would be the place where the guy would yawn loudly and stretch his arm around the girl and pull her closer.

No matter how many times I had seen it done before, it seemed like the stupidest thing ever now that I was sitting in the theatre. Looking down, our hands were a few inches away from each other, albeit divided by the invisible line between our seats. I would have to cross over that imaginary boundary to reach hers.

As much as I would've loved to do either of those things, my arm refused to obey my command to move. I sneaked a glance at her a few times, gauging her potential reaction.

Nami seemed oblivious to my conundrum, reaching from the bag of popcorn on my lap and popping a kernel into her mouth as she stared at the screen.

Great, I thought, she's more interested in the movie than me. I decided I might as well pay attention too.

A giant computer-generated monster grabbed the hero's robot in one of its long tentacles. Not remotely terrifying, by any means, but Nami suddenly gasped in surprise and snuggled in close to me, inviting me to put my arm around her, where her hand immediately grabbed mine.

Our hands were still intertwined as we left the theatre.

"Ummm," I started, searching for something to talk about. Nami giggled, probably at my clumsiness. "How did you like the movie?" I asked.

"It wasn't bad," she replied, "but really, I wasn't paying that much attention to it. She gave me another one of her dazzling smiles.

Now, smiles can have a variety of effects. There's ones that make me feel warm all over, like when Rei smiled at me for the first time. There's ones that make me feel like I'm about to be eaten alive, like the way Asuka smiles at me almost every time she smiles at me. And there's ones that tell me I'm about to be asked to do something I don't want to do, like when Misato asks me to take out the trash on her day.

Nami's smile, on the other hand, was designed to both stun and let me know she actually liked me – it reminded me a lot of what Mana had done before. Toji was right – being an Evangelion pilot did have its perks at times. When I told the guys about Nami, they'd probably wonder where to sign up as pilots…

* * *

When I had finally walked her home and taken the train back to the apartment, it was almost one in the morning. I expected the apartment to be deserted, but the lights in the dining room were still on, as I stepped through the entrance.

Asuka sat at the table, in her housecoat, glass of water on the table. It was the same glass as the one she had cracked the other day.

"Are Misato and Pen-Pen back yet?" I asked. Probably not – given the fact that Pen-Pen was at least Misato's equal in drinking, if not better, they'd probably be out till much, much later.

"No. Misato left a message saying they wouldn't be home till really late."

I hummed in response, taking off my jacket. I didn't notice Asuka's listless tone – I was too cheerful from the date to think about things around me.

"How was your it? Your date, I mean." Asuka asked. She seemed bored; head tilted, resting on her arms at a horizontal angle. It was a familiar pose; the last time I had seen it, we had ended up in a kiss.

"It went fine," I said. "We just watched a movie, went to dinner, and I walked her home." That's right, I thought, stick to the facts.

She looked up, face contorted in anger. But there had been a lingering expression of sorrow just before, so quick that if I had blinked I would've missed it.

"Asuka?" I was confused at her sudden mood swing. The truth was that I really hadn't kissed my date – not even good-bye.

"You make me _sick_," her voice had dropped to a deathly quiet, but harsh tone, filled with sarcasm. "Ooh, the invincible Shinji, we girls should be grateful that he even gives us the time of day. First Wondergirl, then the bitch, and now the whore? I _can't stand_ you."

And in a flash of auburn hair, she was gone, glass of water left on the table.

Even I knew that something was terribly amiss.

* * *

Sleep was hard to come by that night - my mind was swirling. I was giddy, from the fabulous events of the night; confused, from the surprising events of the early morning.

Misato and Pen-Pen stumbled home sometime in the middle of the night – the sound of the two of them staggering around in the hallway, drunk, came and went quickly as they clambered to their respective rooms. Before long, the sounds of movement stopped; the only noise from cicadas buzzing outside.

At some point, I resolved to get up early to make a peace offering with Asuka's lunch – food was something she understood.

I had just finished wrapping up our lunchboxes and thrown the pans into the sink when I heard Asuka's door open and the bathroom door close. I decided that now would be the best time to change into our school clothes.

Pen-Pen and Misato's doors were still closed; I doubt either of them would be up soon. Misato had even arranged to take the day off in anticipation of a massive hangover. The sound of the shower stopping signalled that I had about ten minutes before we'd be face to face and alone in the apartment.

The bathroom door opened, and Asuka's door closed.

Breakfast was ready on the table, but I wanted to be waiting for Asuka when she came out. More reactive than proactive, I waited outside her room for her.

"Morn-"

"I don't have anything to say to you," Asuka cut me off, brusquely walking to the front door. Her bag was slung over her shoulder; she was already fully dressed for the day.

"But-"

Asuka stormed out of the apartment, shoes in hand.

I ran to the door after her, but the echo of footsteps down the stairs was all that was left of her.

* * *

The walk to school was uneventful – I had grown used to Asuka's chatter in the mornings. Instead, I was left with my thoughts for company again, rehashing the same points over and over in my mind. I took my time, too; I barely made it into the class before morning bell rang.

"You dog, had a late night, didn't you?" Toji managed to whisper to me before we took our seats. I didn't reply – instead, I looked at Asuka. She seemed to radiate contempt, but maybe that was just me.

I opened my computer and started the messaging program which so many of us used to entertain ourselves as the teacher droned on. It was incredible that the school had decided to give us the terminals in the first place – as the adults had absolutely no idea that most of us would misuse them. Kensuke, resident computer genius, had even rigged a program that would change our screens to a full document of "fake notes" with the touch of a screen.

Asuka wasn't online. Toji and Kensuke were, and they bombarded me with messages, but I was in no mood to deal with them. Instead I flipped down my monitor and took a page from the Rei school of thought – staring outside obliviously. If there was ever a day when I wished I could stay home under the covers, it was today.

Delirious from lack of sleep, dreams became reality. The classroom was suddenly filled with people who obviously weren't students.

Kaji started offering to teach me some of his patented tricks in bed. Dr. Akagi preached to me about the importance of protection during sex. Asuka yelled at me and asked me if I wanted to kiss. My father told me that I would only cause more pain to those I became involved with. And Rei, the only sane person there, asked me if I was alright.

Rei repeated the question again.

And again.

Oh, no, she was asking me that now. What?

My head snapped up as the last vestiges of sleep were erased from my mind. My dreams were becoming way too literal.

"Are you alright, Ikari?" Rei asked for the fourth time. I was now acutely aware of my surroundings. People were still filing off to lunch. Rei stood above me, waiting for my reply.

"Yeah," I replied. "Just a bit tired." I rubbed my eyes a bit and yawned, as if to make my point clear.

"You should probably go to bed earlier," Rei offered. She turned to go.

"Hey, w-wait!" A certain redhead was nowhere to be found. "Where did Asuka go?"

"Pilot Soryu and Ms. Horaki went to lunch five minutes ago," Rei answered. "I believe her exact words as they left were 'Shinji is a moron'."

I groaned and checked my bag. Yep, the lunch I had prepared for her was still there. She must've gone off to share Hikari's lunch. Toji and Kensuke had already left, probably expecting me to catch up later. I didn't feel like submitting myself to interrogation about my date, so I had another idea.

"Hey Rei, I have an extra bento. Wanna join me for lunch?"

* * *

The roof was surprisingly deserted, as we sat down and opened the boxes I had prepared. Rei looked at the more exotic sushi and teriyaki in the package with disdain, and started on the vegetarian sushi rolls. Her lunch, a box of rice and some vegetable sticks, lay forgotten.

"Rei, can I ask you something?" Maybe she could help me with my dilemma. She nodded to me, mouth full of rice.

"What do you think of Asuka?"

"I don't understand the question," Rei replied. She stopped eating.

"Not as a pilot," I elaborated, "but as a person. She always says what she thinks of you. What do you think of her?"

Rei took a moment to contemplate the question. I stood up against the railing and looked down at the other students as they enjoyed their lunches.

"There are hidden portions of her heart locked away, memories which she wishes never existed. She has known great pain. It is easier to lock ourselves away and hurt others than to expose our deepest hopes and fears."

I digested this for a second.

"But what she truly longs for," Rei continued, "is to love, and to be loved."

"Asuka?" I said. "How can you tell all this anyway?"

"You asked for my opinion," Rei said. "You shouldn't be so surprised; everyone is capable of love," Rei answered. "Even you. Thank you for the lunch, Ikari."

I sat there in contemplation as she got up to go back to class. She was already through the door when the bell rang.

* * *

The rest of the day went by quickly. I didn't try to stop Asuka as she left without a word. Toji and Kensuke, however, would not be deterred. They cornered me in front of the school and demanded to hear details about my date, no matter how sordid. In fact, the more sordid, the better.

My excitement from the previous night had been completely erased, but I couldn't deny Toji and Kensuke their joy at hearing about it. I told them how the night went, from movie, to dinner afterwards, to the walk home.

Toji, excited to no end, checked to see if the class rep was listening, and asked what I had been expecting. "Did you get to second base?"

"Well… no," I honestly answered with a blush. "Nothing like that!"

"What?!" Kensuke practically yelled. "You had a babe like that and you didn't even try to cop a feel?"

"Come on, guys," I sheepishly replied, "Stop it with the baseball analogies already."

"Well, are you seeing her again?!" Toji was borderline hysteric.

"I have her phone number…" I offered.

The two grinned in approval.

"That's my boy!" Toji thumped me on the back. "Now, you have to wait three days before you do – otherwise, she'll think you're a desperate loser and dump you."

"I don't know if I'm even going to use it," I said.

To them, I might as well have said that I was moving to Germany.

"Are you crazy? A gorgeous girl like that?" An anguished Toji, now fully hysteric.

"What?! If you're not going to use it, can I?" Kensuke, more practical than anything.

"Well, I've had a lot on my mind…" I explained.

"What could be more important than THIS?" Toji and Kensuke said simultaneously.

Uh-oh. I had boxed myself in. If I told the truth and said Asuka, the two of them would probably faint. My mind scrambled to find another topic to use. The problem was, the alternatives that came to mind were even worse – they both knew I hated Evangelion, saying my mind was on other girls would get them even more riled up, and Pen-Pen's dating life, no matter how much bros cared about each other before hos, was not a sufficient excuse.

"Asuka," I mumbled.

They both fainted. On the bright side, they stopped asking me about my love life.

* * *

When I got back to the apartment, Pen-Pen was already ready for his second date. Both pet and owner seemed rested from their hangovers from the previous night, and ready for round two.

"How was Pen-Pen's date?" I asked.

"It was fun, but they didn't really hit it off," Misato answered. "One look at her, and Pen-Pen didn't really want to stay. She didn't really like him, either."

Pen-Pen warked in agreement.

"One look?" I asked. "Doesn't that seem a bit shallow?"

"It's not necessarily the _look_ of a penguin that matters," Misato explained. "It's like love at first sight – you just know that something's going to work out or not. It's gut instinct!"

Misato had never been the academic type. "And you know this… how?" I asked.

"The zoologist explained it to me. He was pretty cute," Misato sighed. "Too bad he had to take her back to the zoo. Well, that's alright, we had fun, didn't we?"

Pen-Pen warked again.

"Our next date's in an hour, want to come?" Misato offered. Asuka wasn't home again, and spending the afternoon alone in the apartment wasn't appealing.

"Okay," I said.

* * *

Pen-Pen's "date" turned out to be a life-sized penguin doll.

"Wark?" Pen-pen nudged it a bit with his beak. Then, he started to climb on top and…

"That's it, we're going!" Misato quickly decided. She pulled Pen-Pen off and dragged him away by the flipper.

"WAARRK!!!"

"No, we can't keep it."

* * *

Misato sped us back to the apartment at her usual breakneck pace, muttering obscenities under her breath about "Craigslist" and "perverted wackos". The owner of the doll had taken Misato for someone with a penguin doll fetish, it had turned out. I don't think I've ever seen Misato so embarrassed.

"How old is Pen-Pen, anyway?" I asked. During the afternoon, I had decided to quickly research Penguin mating habits. According to the internet, normal Penguins reached sexual maturity anywhere from three to eight years old. Then again, Pen-Pen was the first of his kind.

"I don't know, actually," Misato admitted. "He was at the research lab when I started working there during university – and that was a long time ago."

I did the mental math.

"Just how old _are_ you?" I laughed.

Misato stammered as her eye twitched.

* * *

Instead of heading back inside, I decided to take a walk. The sun was still up – though already beginning its descent. The sky was painted a thick reddish orange hue. I liked Tokyo-3 at times like this; reminiscent of the first time Misato had shown me the fortress city in all its glory.

I had walked a block when I spotted Asuka on the other side of the street, coming back. Maybe it was the sunlit background on her crimson hair, or maybe it was that my date had given me a backbone, but I decided to confront the red-haired demon head on. The shape of a plan started to form in my mind.

"HEY, ASUKA!" I yelled, hurriedly crossing before she had a chance to run away. She looked at me with a mixture of disgust and apathy as I caught up.

"What do you want?" Asuka was nowhere near as furious as the night before - more irritated than anything else.

"Where are you going?" An innocent question.

"What does it look like, stupid? I'm going back to the apartment."

I took a quick glance at my watch – I had maybe an hour.

"Do you want to come with me somewhere? I've got a surprise."

"What kind of surprise?" Asuka eyed me suspiciously, like I was planning to take her to a deserted shack and murder her.

"What kind of surprise would it be if I told you?" I grinned, channelling my inner Kaji.

"And what about food?" Asuka questioned. I could tell her curiosity was getting the better of her.

"We can pick something up on the way," I offered. "Besides, it's Misato's night to cook – do you really want instant noodles with curry again?"

That cinched it. The first time Asuka had tried that particular specialty of Misato's, despite my warning, she had spent all night in the washroom cursing in German our guardian.

"Alright, but don't get any funny ideas, Third child."

* * *

"Come on!" I gasped, "we can't miss that train!"

The trip to the grocery store had taken longer than I had anticipated – Asuka was picky about her beverage and meal choices, even with convenience store food. Honestly, how do you take twenty minutes to decide what you want at a 7-11? We had only gotten out of there when I threatened to go out of the store by myself. Even then, Asuka had made me pay for our purchases as punishment for rushing her and dragging her to "god-knows-where" ("This is not a date!" she had exclaimed).

If we missed the train, we'd be screwed. I grabbed Asuka's arm and pulled her ahead as I broke into a run. Our bags clattered as we went down the escalator, barely squeezing past some startled commuters. I apologized as we rushed by, without particularly meaning it. The train was _that _important.

We got in ahead of the closing doors, at which time I noticed that my hand was still gripping her wrist tightly.

"Sorry," I said, immediately letting go. For once, Asuka didn't yell at me for apologizing. I suppose she chose to let it slide.

We took seats perpendicular from one another. The ride was spent mostly in silence – my temporary boost of courage only extended to convincing Asuka to come, it turned out.

Our only conversation came when we called Misato to let her know we wouldn't be home for dinner. Misato was surprised, but she told us to have fun – it was a Friday, after all. I had a sneaking suspicion she would, instead of cooking, take Pen-Pen out for round two of drinks.

We arrived at our stop a bit earlier than expected. I glanced at my watch again. We would make it, but only just.

Asuka was starting to get impatient. "How much further do we have to go? Why the hell are we here?"

A good question – we had gone north outside the Tokyo-3 city limits. The phrase "Shinji Ikari, serial killer" was probably starting to flash through her mind.

"Just a bit further," I answered.

We exited the station, and I led her up the road a bit to a small lookout. It was the same place Misato had taken me after my first Angel battle. The sun was almost beyond the horizon – barely peeking through the smaller buildings.

"Here we are," I said, rummaging through our grocery bags to start laying out a picnic of sorts. "I thought you needed this. Think of it as my way of making up for whatever I did."

Asuka opened her mouth, perhaps to tell me exactly what I had done wrong, but thought better of it.

"Nice try, third child," she exclaimed in her mock-arrogant voice. "But you'll have to do a lot better to make it up to me."

I laughed as she joined me in setting up dinner. We started to dig in.

As we took our first bites, a large siren rang throughout the city, signalling the rise of Tokyo-3, mankind's fortress city. Just like the first time, skyscrapers started to grow out of the ground, illuminated in orange by the setting sun. The lake glistened in the background as we watched the structures grow, like beanstalks out of a fairytale.

I glanced over at my roommate – she looked right back at me. Her eyes glanced at me with a curious glint, as if to ask why.

"Misato brought me here when I first moved in," I explained. "It's good to see now and then what we're fighting to protect, don't you think?"

Asuka didn't answer me, so I continued.

"And I thought you needed this."

"You idiot," she replied softly. She was smiling.

Asuka was giving me one of those smiles that made me feel warm – except disarming at the same time, with a hint of mischief. I grinned like an idiot. At that moment, it seemed like the world only existed for me, and I started to think Asuka liked me; more than just as a fellow pilot, or a roommate.

In fact, the smile was so disarming that I forgot where I was – instead, our heads tilted closer to each other ever so slightly. It one of those moments from a cheesy romance movie or TV show again, where the guy and girl would slowly kiss, their sexual tension so obvious it could've been spelled out. Except, unlike with Nami, this time it was actually playing out to the script.

Closer and closer we leaned, until our noses were so agonizingly close that we could feel each other's breath.

Oh no, I thought. She's going to hold my nose again.

Last time, all I wanted was for her to let me breathe. This time, suffocation would've seemed preferable to what she did instead – as our lips almost touched, she turned her head abruptly and pulled away.

Instead of a kiss, I got a question.

"Did you kiss _her_?" It took me a second to realize who she had meant.

"Did you kiss her?" She repeated, almost snarling.

"No!" I blurted out; I hadn't expected that question to come up.

She seemed pleased with the answer for a moment, then continued with her questions.

"Are you going out with the whore again?" Asuka's eyes were narrow in slits.

I didn't quite know how to answer that. I had Nami's phone number, but I hadn't thought about calling her. Misato's order only extended to one date. A second date would make my intentions loud and clear. Toji and Kensuke's opinions on calling girls came to mind. The problem was, I didn't know what my intentions even were.

Regardless, Asuka took my silence for an answer, and slapped me hard across my cheek. I looked at her in shock for a second; tears had started to well up in her eyes.

Then she ran.

* * *

Now, I'm not great at reading people, especially girls, but it all seemed to fit together – that afternoon of scathing looks from Hikari, Asuka's comments about my dating life. Even the whole time I was with Mana, Asuka would either insult her or just storm off altogether. It wasn't something I had picked up on at the time, but it was impossible to ignore twice in a row with another girl. It was egotistical of me, but I couldn't come up with any other explanation except that, against all odds, Asuka somehow had feelings for me.

Any joy I had felt from my successful planning had since ebbed away as I realized I may have just compounded problems.

The question had now become what I felt for her. Asuka was undeniably attractive, exotic with her red hair. Calling Asuka Langley Soryu beautiful was self-evident – half the population of our school either admired her from afar or had one of their love letters crushed underneath her shoes.

But there was inner beauty and strength too. For all of her faults, she was _alive_ in the strictest sense of the word. More than anyone else I had ever known, she was exuberant and exciting; she brought out at least some sort of response in those around her (in Toji and Kensuke's case, it was a less-than-happy one). It was her magnetic personality that drew me to her, and her abrasive insults that pushed me away.

And then there was the kiss we had shared. Even without air it had been… not unpleasant. At least until I started to turn blue from air loss; but with Asuka, things were complicated – a bunch of contradictions wrapped around an enigma surrounded by a thorny, yet unbelievably beautiful exterior. The haughty woman who acted in arrogance was also a child crying out for in dreams for her mother. Maybe that was something we both had in common – that vulnerability at our core.

Rei's words echoed in my mind – she just wanted someone to love and to love her.

* * *

Pen-Pen's third date was on the Saturday, at the local park. This time, Misato insisted that we go out as a family for support, all of us. A dysfunctional one, perhaps, but a family, nonetheless. Asuka refused to look at me the entire day. Even on the drive over, Asuka purposely looked out the window, ignoring the fact that I was sitting next to her.

Misato noticed, but either thought it was best left to us to settle it, or didn't think it was that serious. Instead, she paid more attention to Pen-Pen, and spent the ride talking to him about dating tips for the modern penguin (or rather, dating tips she had stolen from a magazine and modified slightly for penguins).

We got out of the car, and Asuka started to walk away from me.

Fine, I thought, if she wanted to be like that, I didn't care. In my own petty fit of childish one-uppance, I started to walk in the opposite the opposite direction.

Instead of turning her eye this time, Misato grabbed both of us and held us tightly in a vice grip.

"And where do you think you two are going?" She asked rhetorically.

Half-dragging the two of us, we made our way to the fountain. Pen-Pen's date was waiting there with her owner. In lieu of flowers, Misato had brought a shrink-wrapped salmon for a gift. Pinga, the female penguin, and her owner, a man who looked like he was in his early thirties, waved to us as we approached.

To be honest, Pinga looked the exact same as Pen-Pen, except for a different model of air conditioner on her back, and a small flower brooch on her head (even female penguins had to accessorize, I suppose).

Pinga and Pen-Pen looked at each other, blinking slightly. I wasn't sure how this whole date would work. What did penguins do on dates? I wasn't even sure that Pinga would like Pen-Pen – him being the first and only warm-water penguins in the world.

First, Pen-Pen bowed in front of her – very, very slowly. They made eye contact, neither blinking. Pinga did the same. I suppose this was the moment where they would just know if it was love. Nothing happened.

Still nothing.

Misato chuckled nervously.

Asuka, still fuming at her forced proximity to me, refused to pay attention to any of us.

Pinga's owner frowned.

And suddenly they both started warking to each other excitedly. It was exciting, in a way – seeing two individuals meeting for the first time. We gave them some distance, watching them interact from far away. Misato struck up a conversation with Pinga's owner, which left me and Asuka to ourselves.

"Look," I said, "we're probably going to be here for a while, so why don't we sort things out?"

Asuka didn't reply, instead choosing to go sit on a nearby bench. When I sat on the opposite end, she gave me a withering look and decided that my distance was acceptable.

Inwardly, I was annoyed. I had spent the entire day thinking about Asuka instead of Nami. Instead of leaping at the chance to be with a great, beautiful, smart, charming girl, I had chosen the one that currently wouldn't even look at me.

But that's the way we are, I realized. Like Misato had said, from the moment I had met Asuka, I knew that there was _something_ that could, and would work out. Nami had made a great impression, but impressions only did so much.

"I'm not calling her," I told Asuka's back. "When you asked me that yesterday, I really hadn't thought about going on another date. Toji and Kensuke told me to, but it wouldn't be right – I didn't even want to go on the first one."

And here came the bombshell. If I was going to back out, it would have to be now.

"I like you," I declared. It was funny how three simple words could change the whole nature of a relationship. The words hung in the air, as we both realized the gravity of what I had just said.

"I can only do so much to convince you that it's true," I continued. My breath was shaky as I spoke. The words came out in a stream – I spoke faster and faster as my nerve ran out. "I can't promise that I'll never screw up or hurt you; but that I'll never intentionally do so. I do care for you. And I hope you do too."

Asuka finally turned to look at me – her eyes glistened a bit, but no tears were visible. She gave me a feeble smile.

"You idiot," she hissed, "You're doing this _here_?"

"It seemed like a good time," I smiled back.

She edged over to where I sat on the bench, until we were right next to each other.

"Did you really mean what you said?" Asuka cautiously asked, as if everything between us was fragile. I nodded slightly. It was around sunset again, and the fading light behind her body played off her red hair and gave her a soft glow, complementing her beauty.

"Good," she said, and pulled me in closer, her head inching forward slowly. A bit of an awkward motion, but it made her intentions clear. She brushed aside a strand of hair in front of her mouth as she came closer. Just before our lips touched, we paused for a heartbeat, both of us just a bit scared to take the next step.

What the hell, I thought, and closed the gap.

Unlike our first kiss in the apartment, I had access to air this time. I'd like to think that this time, it was a much better kiss.

**A/N: Additional disclaimer – I do not own Craigslist, nor do I think that there is an erotic section for penguins. At least I hope not.**

**This hung around my desktop for about a month and a half, slowly edging towards completion. The story was fun to write, even if I wrote in small, small chunks at a time.**

**For those of you who don't know who Mana Kirishima is – she's a character in the game Girlfriend of Steel, an early Evangelion game which had Shinji dating a transfer student who turns out to have a dark secret. You can find fan-translated versions floating around on the internet pretty easily.**

**Originally, I wasn't going to involve the Girlfriend of Steel plotline, but when you write about Shinji's love life in detail and his thoughts, it seems weird to leave out the only girl he's ever gone out with. Plus, as I was writing, I realized that the "Shinji gets a girlfriend" plot was pretty damn similar to the game, not by intention, but by design.**

**Asuka might seem a bit out of character, but I emphasised Asuka's jealousy a bit more based on her actions towards Mana (play the game, and you'll see what I mean). And as for Shinji growing more of a spine and being a bit more articulate towards his thoughts… I imagined that his growing affinity with girls and feelings helped in that regard.**

**To anyone who thinks I hate Rei, which I wouldn't blame you for thinking, I don't – it's just she didn't particularly fit in that much to the story, although I did try to do her justice in the few scenes I used her in. The truth is that in many a Shinji/Asuka fic, Rei usually becomes either extraneous to the story (to some extent), or a foil for Asuka to call her a doll and get jealous. I just don't want to bash Rei, or use her for the sake of using her.**

**As always, comments and criticisms are welcome.**


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